Please Just Say Goodbye
by Penultimate
Summary: Songfic to My Immortal by Evanescence. Seto Kaiba had protected him with all of his power. So why was it that Seto was now sitting at his funeral?


**A/N: This is the product of listening to "My Immortal" for four hours straight while you have writer's block. Anyway, the way to get the full impact of this fic, you have to listen to "My Immortal" on repeat while you read it. I plan to have a banner up soon for this fic. Please review to tell me what you think! If I get a good response, I might even post a sequel. However, for the meantime this is just a one-shot. Read and review, please! Be honest!**

**((I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, the characters, or the song "My Immortal", because if I did, do you think I'd be spending my time on a _fanfiction site_? XD ))**

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Seto sat silently on the pew, staring straight ahead at the casket. The young CEO sat up straight, head up, chin out, maintaining his ever-present posture of a regal man. It had simply become a part of him anymore. He could no longer help being that arrogant and egotistical CEO that everyone knew and loathed. But that had always been fine with him. Until now... 

He could not hear the preacher, who was rambling on about how good a person the now dearly-departed was when he had been alive. He could not see the many saddened faces around him. He could not feel the warmth of the church, or the sorrow that emanated from every soul around him. No, the cold-hearted bastard felt nothing, as always. His eyes were blank, his senses were disabled to everyone around him, and he could feel nothing but the chilling cold he had always felt, ever sense he could remember.

_**I'm so tired of being here**_

_**Suppressed by all of my childish fears**_

It was sad that he could not sense this event, which he had put so much time and effort into. Of course, that was Seto Kaiba: always afraid that things just weren't perfect enough. He had bothered over the casket, over the suit the corpse would wear, over the headstone, over the preacher, over the sermon, over the eulogy... He had fretted over whether the music that would be played would be a fitting dirge for the life the now-dead had once lived. It was childish in a way: keep busy to make your way through the pain. Rather than face his feelings and emotions head on, Seto Kaiba would rather make things difficult. After all, that was all that he knew how to do. That was how he lived his life. Seto had never known how to do the easy things, for the easy things had always been the hardest to accomplish. To him, difficulty always made everything so much...well, easier. Whatever kind of twisted logic that was had been bred into Seto's mind, and now it was the code that he lived by.

_**And if you have to leave**_

_**I wish that you would just leave**_

_**Because your presence still lingers here**_

This "code" was one of the reasons he was more than, for lack of a better word, _happy_ to _not_ let go. To refuse to say goodbye. To refuse to say that the dearly-departed had, in fact, departed. That was why, when he approached the casket for his final goodbyes, he would not say goodbye. He would simply stare at the corpse's face for a moment or two, and then return to his seat. He would not shed one tear, nor would he say one word or make one distressing gesture. After all, such open emotions, albeit normal as they were in such a setting, were only a weakness.

_**And it won't leave me alone**_

And Seto Kaiba was _not_ weak.

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_

_**This pain is just to real**_

_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

And yet, the brunette felt something that he had not felt before, and if he had ever felt this sensation, it had been a very long time ago. He could feel a sense of constriction around his heart. He could feel a burning in his heart, as well as in his mind. It was a feeling that made him want to clear his throat, or pat his chest. Anything to try to settle the sudden quickening heartbeat. Anything to fix this aching in his heart. Anything to make this pain go away.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I've held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have all of me**_

As he continued to gaze at the casket, his mind slowly began to replay memories. Long nights, when he would sit in the bedroom, holding the head and wiping away the persistent tears that came with the life he had chosen. He could remember checking the closet, under the bed, and in that Man's office for the monsters that would haunt dreams and would be the simple shadows in the darkness. He could remember holding the hand, and whispering reassurances that one day all of the suffering would pay off and that everything would be all right. And as soon as he would go back to his studies, or his work, or his "training" or any other task that was assigned him, he would feel that all of him was not there. That some part of him was missing.

Of course that's because it was. It was back where he could find happiness. Where he could cause a smile to flash across a boy's face. Where he could be the one to scare away the monsters and make everything seem right. Where he could fool a young, innocent, naive boy into believing that one day there would be a sunrise that they would welcome, and that would bring happiness back to them.

Seto felt a sudden nudge in his shoulder that jolted him from his nostalgia. Turning his head slightly, he heard a rather high-pitched voice tell him that "it was time for him to go up to the casket and pay his last respects." He slowly rose to his feet, as instructed, and began his seemingly long walk to the casket. He had not been surprised when Yugi and his friends and showed up. After all, they and the now-dead had been such good friends. It had been the only reason he had sent them an invitation. However, if Seto could've had it his way, he would not have invited them at all. He would've invited no one. The last thing that he wanted to do on such a sad day was deal with so many other incompetent fools. However, he also knew that even if he hadn't invited them, they would've shown up anyways, and that it was better to simply invite them rather than have them show up _un_invited and have them cause a scene.

_**You used to captivate me**_

_**By your resonating light**_

As the brunette continued his slow and steady steps to the casket, more memories began flooding through his mind. He could remember when the dearly-departed had made him laugh. He had been the only one who could make Seto Kaiba smile, let alone laugh. Seto had always found it so amazing that the now-gone soul could always act so happy and cheerful, especially when there was nothing to be happy or cheerful about.

_**But now I'm bound by the life you left behind**_

_**Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams**_

_**Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**_

It was now, in the last few days, that Seto had not been able to rid his mind of that once-living face. The remembrance of that face was the only thing that kept him going now. But it was also his curse. He could not close his eyes without seeing that face in torment and anguish in his last moments. He could not stay in silence, for if he did he would hear the dying voice of the soul he had tried to protect for so long. It was enough to drive him mad, and in certain ways, it had...

_**These wounds won't seem to heal**_

_**This pain just too real**_

_**There's just too much that time cannot erase**_

What kind of death was cancer? For so long, Seto had sought to protect this now lifeless corpse. And yet, in the end, it did not matter, for the soul would die from something that Seto never could've protected him from... What were the odds that this innocent soul would've had that 1 in 8 chance of contracting the most fatal of the type of cancer that he had contracted. And all Seto could do was spend more and more money on hospice care so that the poor boy could have his wish of being cared for at home, and watch as the once-living slowly died before his very eyes. The whole while, he felt so helpless because he could do nothing.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I've held your hand through all of these years**_

_**But you still have all of me**_

As always, all he could do was wipe away the tears of death. All he could do was continue to pay for the tests in the vain hope that this diseased monster would simply vacate the poor soul's body. All he could do was hold his hand and tell him that he was sure there was a chance the cancer would enter remission. All they had to do was wait, and hope...

And now all Seto could think was that there was something more that he could've done... Something that he hadn't done that might, just might, have changed the outcome of the entire situation.

He finally reached the casket and stared down at the lifeless body. Suddenly, seeing him lying their like this, the whole reality of the entire event hit him with such an impact that it knocked the wind out of him. And as he stared at the body, he tried to convince himself that he had done everything right; done the best that he could've possibly done. That no matter what he could've changed, the outcome still would've been the same, and that he simply had to face facts.

_Mokuba, his little brother, the light and purpose to his life, had died from cancer and was now lying in a coffin before him._

_**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**_

_**And though you're still with me...**_

And he remembered how Mokuba had predicted that Seto would realize he was _truly_ gone at one of the oddest of times, and that he should simply remember that he wasn't _really_ gone. After all, just because his body was gone, didn't mean that his spirit was gone. The young boy had told Seto that he would always be there to watch over his big brother, just as his big brother had watched over him all of his life.

And as he remembered this, he realized that he could've made a difference. He could've said, way back when, "to hell with work" and spent so much more time with his brother. He could've been there for his little brother, like a good big brother would have been, and instead he put his work before his brother.

The young CEO realized that he was no more alone than he had ever been before. The only difference was that _then_ he could've fixed his mistake, and could've spent less time working and more time with his brother. Now, his brother was gone. Forever. And nothing and no one could ever change that.

He was now stuck with his decision. He had been and would always be, forever more, _alone_.

_**I've been alone all along**_

Seto gripped the side of the casket for support as he felt his legs buckle. He felt his eyes begin to water, and his heart felt as if it was about to burst in two. Here he was, alive and well, and he had wasted all the time he had had with his brother. Now he would never see his smile again, never hear him laugh again... He would never be able to hold his brother through the tears. He would never hear him ask to have Seto check the closet and under the bed. He would never be able to hold his hand through any obstacle.

Never again would Mokuba be there. Never.

"Mokuba..." Seto whispered, clutching tightly onto the coffin's edge. He felt the tears forming in his eyes, and it was now that he realized that he didn't care who was watching. This was his brother. _His. Brother._ And nothing and no one could change that. No matter who was alive or who was dead, Mokuba would always be his brother, and Seto would always be allowed to grieve over his death.

"Mokuba, I'm sorry..." the brunette continued, his voice a hoarse undertone. "I wish... things would've... been... different... I wish... I would've... been there for you... I wish you hadn't suffered... alone. I wish... I just wish that I could do everything over again! I just wish that I could have you back so that I could fix everything!"

Seto choked on sobs as tears began to trickle from his eyes down his cheeks. The tears fell from his face onto his brothers, and Seto wished more than anything that it would be a true movie moment, where his tears of love would revive his brother's lifeless body so that Mokuba could return to life and Seto could change his ways.

However, he knew that it was not a movie. He knew that this was real life, and that his brother was never coming back to life.

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**_

_**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears**_

_**And I've held your hand through all of these years**_

"I'm sorry, Mokuba... for everything..." Seto reached out his hand, and gently wiped his own tears from Mokuba's face. His hand then moved to gently wrap around his little brother's hand. "I hope that there are no tears, no monsters, and no tribulations where you are now.

"I love you, Mokuba. I always have." With that, Seto inclined his head and gently kissed the cold forehead of his lifeless brother's body. Finally, swallowing hard, Seto said his last words to his little brother:

"Goodbye."

_**But you still have all of me.**_


End file.
